Bijaya’s Phone rang.
“Yes Momma, I’m with Dizzu and Shreena! What? OMG! How? Oh no! Ok Mamma! Sure Momma don’t worry your daughter is young enough now, she can take care herself. Oh no Momma, That’s too much. Why are you worrying about me that much? I know Momma. Ok Momma. I will be in time. Love you too Momma.” Bijaya took a long breath after phone in conversation.
‘This is too much yar! Where the hell is our government? What the hell they are doing? Mother F***er rapist are walking freely on the street, and we girls always have to be worried about our own security in our own country, even in our own yard.” Suddenly she turned as angry injured tiger.
Shreena and I were unknown about the telephone conversation. We just heard one way, and saw each other, I asked her with the eye sign ‘what happen to her?’ Shreena replied with the help of lips and head, ‘I don’t know!’
“Dizzu do we really think capital city is the safe city? My answer is a NO. Don’t you want to know why?” Bijaya asked me a question.
‘What’s the matter? What happen to you? Why are you behave like crazy mad? What did auntie told you?” My questions spurt like as type writer.
‘Momma was worried about us, she just want us back home soon’. She gently replied.
‘Why?” Shreena over take me. I was nearly asking the same question.
‘A girl found serious near to Kamal Pokhari, she is reporting that has been victimized from gang rapist’. And she stopped. I saw a tear rolling down from her chick.
Shreena’s mouth opened like and a big cave.
I said, “You are absolutely right baby, the city is not safe but somehow we are also involving to make city not safe. Actually, the city is not properly safe. The society is producing crime and violence against women since long. And there are thousands of organizations are working on it. However, we girls have live with fear. We always have to take risk to walk at evening or night. Few months’ back I was walking in the streets of Jawalakhel to Bagdole nearly 6 O’clock of evening, group of boys were staying at the corner chowk, behind the Saint Mary’s High School. When I crossed them, they were starting to creamed as if they are seeing some interesting drama. Wooohu, aahaa!, some of them started to playing a tongue. I just stopped and looked back to them. One who has long hair, stand and looked at me top to bottom and opened his mouth, ‘Wah, what a body like a bottle of coke.’ A supper skinny guy made sound like a donkey screamed, ‘Yeah man! She is just made for me.’ Another who was like and frog jump from cemented wall of the temple. ‘What a look of my beauty queen’. Another one speaks, ‘No man, stop kidding, she is alone and its nearly dark, let her go’. Rest of other giggled like horse, he he he he he.
I just turned up and went to the guy who was requesting his friends to letting me go. Grabbed his hand and shake tightly and thanked him. "Thank you, you are the one who really respect your mother and sister. I'm proud of you and i'm glad that you know me as normal human being not a subject to tease. Yes you are right i'm not anything else rather just a women as like your mom, girl as your sister, girl friend and your wife. Please let your friends know I'm Manu. I live in Bagdol, may we will see around because we are from the same area. Catch you later, if we get time we can have tea together. Thanks and good night."
The boys became awkward, the environment was suddenly changed then they have created.
I was fear inside but I dare to told them and just walked down. Just wanted to showed them middle finger and ran away from there but I didn't. I was scared that if they followed me but didn't. I just heard silence behind, I turned back from the next corner all of road, they were standing as statue and looking at me. Thus, it may depends how you act back to them.
Just walking was OK, but now when we ourselves working against Gender Based Violence are getting teased and whistled what we go for. Yes discussion occurs but those people have no shame on what they do. Let me not say only one sex male. The other sex female also stays there and just giggles. Once, I was buying some fruits in Jawalakhel, a group of young people were taking rest next yard, some of them were busy with cigarette, some of them were gossiping, a beautiful young lady came with short skirt and slip less t-shirt from another side. She has long silk hair and wearing high heel with open oily leg. When she came near to the group, boys started whistle blowing and girls started to adding ghee in the fire. Wow what a world we live in where people are so stuck with that mentality.
But all the situation, crimes depends up on your behavior. I just wondered that the girl with short skirt came to the group and said Hey guys, what's up? is there anything interesting issue? By the way i'm Shusma, and work for Youth Action. We produce the program for the youth and children. Have you ever watch the TV program 'Team', that's my program, if not please make available for the show, its on The Himalayan Television 7:15 to 8:00 of every Monday and I am program producer. Please take this visiting cards'. She finishes with in a minute, even she been able to distribute her visiting cards to all with in the time. The situation turned normal with in a second.
But sometimes, I think some of the particular incident of a women supporting male was really embarrassing. When you counter question those teasers “Don’t you have your sisters? And all they do is show there proudness on having one. The rest of the people witnessing what happens remains silent and ignore it. Well they have no guts to join the conversation and make a safe city. I feel really pity on both those men and women who are involved in any sort of gender based violence’s be it indirectly; ignoring and directly.
‘I AM NOT READY TO JUST LET THINGS BE THE WAY IT IS; NOT ANYMORE. Education and knowledge is not enough. Rather people should have RESPECT for their and others existence. And I hope both of you are aware about 16 days campaign against gender based violence is going on.’ Shreena act as activist now.
‘Yes, I know. But you can’t just stopped Shreena’. Bijaya whispered. ‘But yes we have to start from ourselves to bring the changes in the society. We have to involve in somehow in the movement. We need to make some interesting slogan for the starting. What about ‘STAND UP! End the gender based violence and make your society safe. Else someday it will be your sister, your Mother, your Wife, your girl-friend, your friend. Salute all those who stand with the slogan. Every gender to end such activities. STAND UP for making gender friendly environment.”
‘Uffho Bijaya, Just stop. If you know about it then you don’t need to make another slogan, because they already made a slogan, “!, And are you making some interesting slogan or long story? Do you have any idea how many sentences you have put in your slogan?” Shreena spoked irritate.
Bijaya after a long thought concluded that "Things are never meant to be the way we want, neither situation nor people remain same. As time passes by choices and preferences changes. But it depends upon as to decide what is more important and a thing must to be thought is, Am I Being Selfish?” she just raised question.
Shreena and Bijaya nearly turned to philosopher. ‘Leave all nonsense gossip for now, do your mom told you how she get rapped?’ I asked to Bijaya.
‘Result was one side Love,’ she replied.
‘What? What does that mean?’ it hit me in.
‘Yes Dizzu, Girl loved someone who never loved her back. She just keep loving and following him, he got clue and he cheated her. He turned to fake lover boy. And he took her on date. This time he made a plan and called his friends, they raped her inside the Maruti van and leave her alone in the road side, but the mistake was girls I must say’.
‘OMG! How cruel boy-friend she found. For god shake Bijaya stop it now. I don’t wanna hear anymore.’ Shreena yelled.
The gossip, and our conversation brought terrible headache on me. Smokey boy with the guitar was already left and no one was in smoking zone. I just searched on my bag, found my cigarette, I just went to there and burn a cigarette. I wanted inner peace.
Shreena was unknown about it that she didn’t knew her Didi turned into chain smoker. She just glared at me and spoke up to Bijaya. ‘When did she start smoking?’
‘Life has much more to give. But…. Look at her. Actually, she didn’t smoke till last year. Smoker was her so called ‘one side lover’. She started to smoke after his friendship. While she took first breath at the beginning she nearly died. She was Happy to following him. She just followed everything what he does to make him happy. He has huge team. May be she was not satisfied with their behavior all the time but she could show her presence even when she felt alone in the crowd. She had that courage to spend her time just looking at the crowd and thinking; indeed human life has infinite experiences and their different way of living. She once again found several reasons to smile and cherish the moment. She always digged out her own way of happiness. She created it and always was ready to spread it. She never bothered to look back and figure out the choices people made, because she knew it was never meant to be her part of life. Poor Dizzu.’ Bijaya replied.
’Poor Didi’, Shreena mumbled and gave a glance to me.
“Yes! She was happy because surprises had become a part of her life. She no longer had a second thought to be unhappy. She was making her life a beautiful one each day. She knew loving others could heal every bitter things and being surrounded by people would make her be herself. She was a girl who had courage to be happy even when she was alone. But, this time she had some friends accompanying her kind of living. Yes, life should be lived without any restrictions and regrets. May be she is known about this.” Bijaya added.
I was hearing all the gossip of me from the smoking zone, but I react as if I’m on my way, didn’t hear anything what they are talking about. I just finish my 2 cigarette and came in to join the girls. I requested to the waiter to make a bill with the sing language. They understand from far, and said Ok, ma’am.
I came to the place and join them, pat on Bijaya’s shoulder and I said: ‘Yes Bijaya, your Dizzu still believed that this tiny world is a beautiful place to live. She only had ten or more wishes that too very simple and kinda cute weird lists; which would easily bring smile on people’s faces. She was indeed a crazy girl who always listened to her heart. Little dumb; yet happy to be dumb (wink emoticon). A lady with her weird, Funny, Unusual, Breathtaking lists making others expressions ‘HUH’ Is that your wish? And she believed that they would definitely SMILE’
Shreena smile, ‘BE YOURSELF DIDI, and this time let the WORLD ADJUST. Stop adjusting by losing yourself. Many people will not even bother how you have been and what are you going through! Time changes, situation change and people also change. That’s a bitter reality or let’s say its bitter truth of life. So, search your own definition and own kind of happiness; Where you don't have to adjust and compromise. But you will find it a beautiful phase of living’. She wrapped me up with warm hug.
Bijaya winked her eyes and said, “Yes Dizzu, I know my Dizzu knew few people are not even worth remembering and talking too. Weird is life, you have to talk being so called NICE even when you don't want to and may be some people were there who thought same about her. Phewww. Indeed humanity and simplicity to live. A good way of being fake. Well, Heartedness was never in her dictionary; but sometimes she thought being hated could be a better option.” She concluded with a deep breathe. “It really is difficult to Survive. And Yeah, being fake is a trend that people carry with STYLE. Isn’t it?” she pours the question to me.
I just closed my eyes and tried consoling myself. "Something always remain unanswered and some people are the worst nightmares who gave good memories to you dear. Some care and several good and few hurting words; but were never meant to be a part of my life. I was devastated with few things that would never regain its shape. I’m still struggling and searching for my answer. But, I had to fake myself and be bold and strong in order to face the world, in order to face myself, in order to acquire back my own self-respect and to overcome the obsession of continuous search of mine unanswered question. I’m a girl who normally stayed fine on my own, but at this moment I’m truly seeking some magic to sparkle. I knew many people have been hurt more than me, few of them actually have been deprived of Happiness, and some are still struggling to survive; yet all they are happy and blessed. Getting an Amnesia and trying to forget the past is really not worth. What is more important and worth is, remembering each thing, each time, and each experiences and holding your own determination and reaching the top of the world. That was not her ego neither heartedness speaking, but this time it was a different story and way of living I’m about to create. I knew speaking nice to people, being good and being human was all that is needed that creates self-satisfaction. That’s it.”
‘Your bill is ready ma’am’. The waiter brought our bill to me.