Sunday, 13th November 2015, I woke up at late morning. Due to the boarder blockaded, political instability of Nepal, Terai movement, life in Kathmandu and surroundings were facing terrible headache, thought people were struggling to make situation normal. And I was emotionally injured bird who was having huge pain of Love. Kathmandu was busy as always, shops/malls were waiting for costumers as the vulture waiting to the dead body. Sunday, my day off, I didn’t have special task to do thus made a plan to hang out with some closest one. I made a call for Srijana, Bijaya and shreena, and call them go for coffee at Barista Lavatzza. Srijana called back after 10 minutes and said she has to go somewhere else, but Bijaya and Shreena gave me answer of ‘Yes’. Left home, waited 15 minutes a public vehicle, I took a micro to the destination, which was full of crowd. I reached Kathmandu mall first, I thought to go to book shops till they arrived. Suddenly, changed my mind, I just feel to walk down to the king’s way. Plugged my earphone, played a music and walk along. Been to the Narayanhiti gate and walk back twice in the same road as a lost person, done some window shopping, then saw the coffee shop and stepped in to the java near to king’s way. Soft melodious music was playing softly. The bottles of wine and whiskey were smiling at the bar rag. Walls were painted with dark wooden color. Coffee brewer machine was standing inside corners, some waiters were standing behind the bar, some of busy with coffee brewing, and some of busy offering the service, beautiful lady was busy in the cashing up. Old paintings were hanging in a wall. Black soft sofa and table of glasses were keeping with good seating arrangement. Beautiful flowers were blooming at the vase, most of the original plants were in line with at the floor near the windows. Smoking zone was outside near to the window where a guy with guitar was hiding inside him with the smoke. Different types of customers were there for taking rest, some of them were waiting for their friends, and some of them were having tea/coffee. I grabbed a seat in the middle.
Again I have to tell my girls that they have to come king’s way because I had changed the location.
Hello, Dijju where are you? Bijaya received my phone call within a second.
Darling I came down to the Kings way, where are you?
‘Hyaa, Dijju! I have just came to Kathmandu mall by crossing the king’s way, and Shreena is still on the way, she has just arrived at Sorhakhutte, why didn’t you tell me before? Why you went suddenly there?’
‘Please take a Taxi or Tempo to king’s way and come to the Java, and don’t forget to pass the massage to Shreena as well, I’m waiting you guys.’ I just replied besides hearing her full.
Hyaa, Dijju! You do always this. She just yell at me and cut off her phone.
I smiled alone and whispered, yes this is me. I do whatever I like. "It is really not easy to Smile, but it is not even that hard not to Smile".
‘This is our menu, what would you like to have ma’am?’ waiter came to me.
One cappuccino please! Thank you.
While I was waiting for coffee, I see a couple in the corner with sad faces as like blue moon. I see few frustrated faces of youngsters these days and the reason behind it is; LOVE. It is difficult to move on but sticking with same thing will just make Life difficult. It truly is not easy to LIVE. But, have we ever thought that everything is never meant to stay forever. So, giving a chance to make yourself unhappy and hurting your own sentiments is the injustice you are doing your Life and yourself. Yeah, breakup takes place, People will hurt and some fine day you also might have hurt them. It is just a payback time. Simple it is, actually it's not even that simple. But, you have to let go your past in order to face the reality and see the beauty of Life. Life is determined according to the way you perceive it.
“Your coffee ma’am”, waiter offered me a cup of coffee.
‘Anything else ma’am?’ he asked me.
No thank you, my friends are yet to arrive.
Love has a different definition as per the situation. Someone once asked me the definition of Love and my answer was how I perceived and felt Love.
‘Dijju, you always make me confused’. Bijaya arrived with her friend Shreena. She looked preety as always, her curly hair free as usual, her best black dress suites her, was wearing nice gray colored leather bag.
'Wow, you have nice bag', Prays once, Sorry huni! I just want to come over here so I just walk down. I replied politely.
‘Awa! You would love to call me in different direction’, she gave me big tight hug with mixed emotion of anger and happy.
Happiness is having few people around you, who cares and love you immense and treat you as your lil princess even when you are grown up enough. Yes, give importance to those who genuinely are there for you. It could be any one and of any relation. Just try being blessed. Keep loving and get back abundance of LOVE which would be enough to live in this world. People say being fake is a fashion of this world but I would say fake is a compulsion to a situation existing in this world. Be yourself or be fake but find your own kind of HAPPINESS.
Dijju! What happened? What you are thinking so deeply? You okey? She just burst her thousands of question together.
‘Yeah, I’m ok! I just been emotional that we are meeting after a long time’. I made fake answer quickly. I forgot that Shreena was waiting for my big hug, she was standing with smiley face near to Bijaya.
‘Hey, Shreena, how are you my lil pumpkin?’ I hugged her up lately.
‘He he Didi! I was waiting your hug since long but I wanted you to stand up first.’ She spoiled her feelings.
Bijaya saw the couple, and looked at me. ‘Dijju, so you were day dreaming by seeing those couple? No worries you will be fine!’ She started to tease me.
“Somewhere someone is dreaming to be like us, and we are here dreaming to wake up from this dream and accomplish more. It is the vicious cycle of dream. Dream-fulfilled, dream more- get frustrated-again dream. Dream and work for it and one day everything shall make sense why it did not work out earlier. Trust the time and yourself. Whatever past showed up is a way to take yourself in present and future. Just relax. Breathe and celebrate Life.” She speak out within a second and call the waiter with sign language.
‘Bhai can you bring plain water first and Americano for me’,
I was having my coffee and she made a quick question towards Shreena, ‘what would you like to have Shreena?’.
‘I will have a hot lemon, ginger with honey’. She replied.
I was silent as ‘Buddha’.
‘Didi, you have something in your head right?’ Shreena was noticing my silence.
‘No, dear! Why do you think so?’ I had lied.
But Bijaya knew the reason why I was so quiet. And she was well known of both of us. So she wanted shared my secret to her as well.
‘Your water ma’am’, waiter offer her plain water.
‘Thanks’. She swallowed full glass of water in a second.
“Look Dijju!” She pat my shoulders and just turned as big sister; “You Should LOVE enough to let go. One day when you look back at least a satisfaction will shine in your face thinking that your sacrifice made someone else’s world better. Probably, No one will bother to look back neither they would want to remember past but sometimes looking back can give you strength to walk ahead with more confidence, as you did before. Past can be a good memories too which you would to let go for others happiness and choices. Its good enough to make others happy and I think that’s the best achievement of living. Smile and just feel proud you were the reason for someone’s happiness and the tears you shade for them were worth it. So chill and never waste your precious tears until it is a necessity or else you will never have time to look this world with the beautiful lenses. Just go with the flow of time”.
‘Anything else left ma’am?’ I winked to Shreena and asked her more.
‘This is your Americano and this is your hot lemon ma’am’, beautiful girl came with black dress of their restaurant this time. ‘Anything else?’ She asked looking at me.
That was nearly 1:00. ‘I will have black forest and will you make special local coffee for me again please?’ I request her.
‘Sure ma’am!’ she stand near to us. And I asked to both if they would like to have something else.
‘I will have something hot and sweet, what have you got?’ Shreena asked quickly.
‘We only have few items, ‘hot chocolate cake’ ‘banana tart’ and….’
‘Okey! I will have banana tart with cream please’. She is easy one.
‘Listen Dijju!’ Bijaya started babbling again. “Love is indeed the sacrifice you make and get hurt for someone else’s choice and happiness. Despite that you have that sukoon wala face just because he/she you love is happy. It is the emotion of attachment which remains always even though the situation is together or break up.”
‘Which wala face?’ I just cut her words off. Shreena and I laughed loudly. Waiter was still there to take order from us.
‘For heaven shake, will you stop babbling for second please, and will you tell her what you want pleased?’ I actually nearly yelled to her.
And she replied quickly, ‘Apple pie please’.
We were making really big noise, People in next table started to stirring at us. The couple left the table.
“Well, Pyar toh ho jata hain. Pyar Pane ke liye he simit nahi hoti. Uska naam Oops Pyar ka Dusra naam Tyag vhi hota hain. Iss Life mein Pyar Nahin kiya toh kya Kiya, Issi Life mein Pyar mein hurt nahin hue toh kya Life Jiya", Bijaya through her broken Hindi towards the couple.
Its turn to Shreena to act as mom. ‘I have found living is difficult, but surviving is easy. Therefore, the choice is yours you just want to survive or you want to live life with your own rules and regulations. I don’t know much about your story Didi, but happiness is having few people around you. Who care and love you immense and treat you as your Lil Princess.”
‘Wait, What?’ I was amazed. The same thing which is in my mind is in her mind. “…..so be yourself or be fake but find your own kind of happiness, right? I through back her as question.
Exactly! Both spooked out with the sense of agreed.
That was my turn to act as if I’m okey, nothing has happened yet. And I made a fake story of my friends to share with them. ‘Look, I know all about these things. And you know I’m senior then you both. I have seen and experienced hell a lot of things than you both. You know what, I have one friend while I was studying in JNU, and her name was Kangana from Lakhnau. She fell in love with a guy from Gujarat. They have affair whole 2 years, their relation was going good. But guy found another girl from US, he left Kangana within 2 weeks and went to US with a girl. Kangana became like mad. But there were another guy who was caring her since her child hood. One find day, she realized that she was lost in search of "The Love". Definitions of love differed as per the individuals and relations in her Life. She was trying hard to make herself believe that Love had not disappeared. She was struggling to get that one glimpse of love she had always wanted. She tried..... And finally she knew that someone was there for her since beginning, and still he was waiting "The Love" of Kangana. And this new person was bringing certain changes in the slow timing of her Life. She was happy, but she never even turned back to say how much this person meant to her; because that person was icon of many. She just wanted time to pass by so that whenever she would turn back on today’s date she would just smile thinking ‘Yes, that person still means something’.
Once I scold her up. But you know what she said?
‘She slightly smiled and said; "I know what attitude is; it is the way I carry myself by respecting me and others. It is a word which teaches me to be good at heart". Surprised by her answer, the definition of attitude suddenly changed.
‘You are good story teller Didi’, Shreena said.
‘Hyaa, Shreena you don’t know her much. She is something different animal in the world. She wanted to live once again with her wings spread. She wanted to overcome every single past which she thought she never deserved, she wanted to get what she deserved. The Faith, Trust and Love which she had buried underneath, however she once again wanted to believe in it. She knew love, friendship did exist despite heart breaks. It’s only about the timing of life. Once again she wanted to feel the beauty of life and she wanted to enjoy every bit before her death. She just wanted to live with few hopes, Trust and Love. She Wants to LIVE, isn’t it Dijju?’ winked to me and asked a question and suddenly turn to Shreena and whispered on her ear, ‘Didi loves someone who never love her back’.
‘And you attracted like a magnet to its metal’, I didn’t have any answer, but need to distract them so I just speak out.
Shreena opened her mouth, “Di, Life is not limited to only two colors; Black and White. It has many colors added up and we are the painters to use those Colors. Beauty of life is to spray colors and make it worth watch through our eyes when we are too old. Years passes by but memories and happiness keeps doubling... Smile and emoticons. I just would like to give you a big hug”. She hugged me quickly.
I became bold and strong yet to answer them, suck my belly in and take a long breath. ‘Yes my girls, I know the fact of life. Some good moments you have spent in your certain time of life is with someone who is and will never be a part of your life again. And this is absolutely fine; because, something left behind was not even your cup of tea, yet you had a chance to taste it. Lucky you, had it been yours, you would still be holding it tight and enjoying every sip. And yes of course, beautiful things should be cherished and bad experiences should be taken as a means to reach the End. Everyone has choices, preferences, and compulsion as per the situation of your life. No heartedness, No regret.... Nothing. Just, Taking life simply and practically is all that makes us matured and a grown up individual’.
Wow! Just bravo Di! Shreena clapped out.
My chicks turned red as an apple, due to mixed emotion of shame and pain.
“Your cake is ready ma’am”, waiter was near to Shreena.
She just grabbed her food, and passes to Bijaya and me.
‘One thing that you should live with is your love and affection towards yourself and others’, Bijaya speak together with bite of cake. ‘Death is universal, so before it’s your time to die; LIVE. Everyone struggles to survive and few only live a life. So, be crazy as me, be weird and stupid as someone weird person. Idiot but, while being all these don't forget to love yourself and respect others and in the meantime never hurt anyone. We all know one smiling face can make few more smiles. So, Spread happiness. This is the only thing that is worth remembered as a memory after your death. Be someone who is a good human. And don’t’ forget to thank each and every one who serve you good food”, satire was for Shreena, she forget to thanked waiter while she was taking her food.
To be continued…………………………………